Red Beans & Rice

When It Is Time For the Shower

When It Is Time for the Shower

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person”

I'm a bridesmaid in my friend's wedding. She made it very clear she did not want a shower but the maid of honor is insisting. One of the main reason she didn't want the shower is because she doesn't want gifts.

The couple have a home, and have everything they need already. Another reason for not wanting gifts is that they are also hoping to be pregnant soon after the wedding (they were actively trying before they got engaged, but have now put it on hold until the wedding craziness is over), and would probably end up having a baby shower later in the same year. The bride feels it's unfair to expect people to give so much in such a short time period. Although the maid of honor will let the guests know that their presence at the bridal shower is enough, I still think people will bring gifts.


As a guest, I would still bring something.

Bridal shower still hasn't happened yet, but some things have changed and a few small things have happened which means what you should be expecting which is why I thought i'd post for future context.

Young Love Never Grows Old

On Top of That

I'm going to my nieces bridal shower and her mother requested we write a letter to the bride. So maybe make something super nice and then put in something short and nice about what you think of the bride.


This is good I think it's just supposed to be a general thing, like tips on having a good relationship along with your congratulations, best wishes for the future, that sort of thing. I have no advice to give her for a good marriage. If it is a forced obligation I would just that silly "recipe for a good marriage" poem and just say I found this suits you guys then copy and done.


What should I say? The whole thing just screams of empty gesture by forcing it onto people because it is a "cute" idea. Thanks :) this stuff is exactly why I don't go to bridal/baby showers and why I refused my mom and aunts to throw one for me.


I know for a fact he hates it too, She's done this numerous times.

Places to Have the Bridal Shower

I am getting married in April and it seems as though Orlando is not too full of places to have bridal showers. We live in Apopka, but anywhere within the Orlando area is fine, distance not really too big of a problem.

I hosted one at The Bistro on park ave in winter park for about 20.

So it doesn't sound exactly like what you're looking for, but I had a great time. Cost to rent the room is, get this, zero dollars, and the whole thing, including gratuity cost us just short of $500. Also, since the room is so beautiful, it required very little decoration, just some flowers and candles

What's In the Name?

Making it a Bridal Shower or A Wedding Shower


As far as I know, the bridal shower is a presentation of gifts to the bride for the bride and groom to start their new lives together.


Most men I know have absolutely zero desire to bother going, so most people default to a bridal shower as strictly female. I'm not asking what is the "norm" because I know jack and jill wedding showers are a thing. I can't be the only guy who think it's weird to not include the males because the gifts are for the bride groom.


I think most people opt for the "bridal" shower mostly because guys tend to not like the games and activities or feel awkward. My bridal shower was all women then when it came time to play games my fiancé stopped by to "crash". I'n not a guy, but I don't want to have a female-only bridal shower. Just my opinion, but know that you're not alone Bridal shower: A bridal shower is a gift-giving party held for a bride-to-be in anticipation of her wedding. Image I - A bridal shower traditionally involves giving gifts to the future wife. Also the bridal shower is an excuse for girls to get together and chat and gossip, and men might hinder the flow. Either way, I think if you really want to attend, I see no reason why you can't! Is it a "Bridal" shower, or is it a "wedding" shower. One of the showers could be a lingerie or trousseau shower just for the ladies, but it's not crazy to want at least one couples shower. Interesting: Bachelorette party | Bachelor party | Party | Baby shower Parent commenter can toggle NSFW or delete. The fiancé's friend is going to host a jack and Jill shower while my mom is going to have a big ladies shower. I agree that a wedding is about the bride and groom starting their lives together.


Could you suggest to your FW that one of those could be a couples shower so you can participate? Ultimately, the host of the party decides, but if it is an issue, you can always ask to be included. We took this idea and used Popsicle sticks that had Mario to represent him and Pikachu--or maybe butterflies for me.


It's fun when you have the engaged couple compete against each other in some of the games and activities.


How the Bridal Shower Custom Started


The custom originated in the 1890s and is today most common in the United States, Canada, Australia and New Zealand. The host reads a list of things like, "who is the best driver," "who cooks better," "who is a better gamer," etc. One of my bridesmaids had a couples shower when she got married seven years ago.


The little research I did on bridal showers before making my decision seemed to explain them as traditionally originating from dowry practices and raising money for the bride to be able to compensate the groom and the groom's family.

Bridal Shower Tea Party

This is the best thing ever and exactly what we wanted for the shower! 😍 Was it set up like a tea buffet? Those tea cups though 😍This is so sweet! Yep like a tea buffet! My mom went quite snap happy with my camera.


This is the cutest thing! I did! This was a great party setup!


Otherwise I'm sure I can put together a bridal shower last minute :) The bride can have multiple showers. I don't really know a lot about these sort of things - Is there still an opportunity for me to throw a Bridal Shower? I also found this link helpful I'm still a little confused though - wondering whether I should just wait and see what the kitchen tea involves to organize a bridal shower too?


My understanding is a kitchen tea focuses solely on kitchen items and stocking that area of the house.


I would either throw it after the kitchen tea or theme it differently, for example a "stock the bar" shower where people bring bar items. I just found out the mother of the groom is hosting a kitchen tea for my best friend. Make it a few weeks after as to not seem like trying to overshadow the kitchen tea.


Maybe you can host the "friends and young people shower" and her mom can host the "whole family and older guests" shower. Feeling a little bulldozed in my part in the pre-wedding events as I was not even consulted beforehand - any advise/information would be great! If the bride is open to another shower you can certainly also throw one .


You can also host a non-shower bridal luncheon or something where no gifts are given, the point is just to celebrate the bride. :) I think you could totally still plan a bridal shower.